Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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