And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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