College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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