im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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