The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
