she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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