You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
