Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
