Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
