Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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