it hurts more in the daytime
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
