Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
