used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
