pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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