cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
