I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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