youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
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