I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
