the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
