Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
