so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
