My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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