Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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