I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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