yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
