She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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