with your own penis?
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
