PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
