my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
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