I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
