the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
