i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
