He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
