margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
