If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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