the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Randomize
