my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Randomize
