You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I wish my penis had an off switch
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
