He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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