i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
