We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
