I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize