not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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