I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
