I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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