Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
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