Umm I'm too high to move.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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