Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
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