my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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