16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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