Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
