he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize