We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I just found puke in my bra..
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Randomize
