Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
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