Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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