i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
